1904 New Years Resolutions
In order to preserve my image as a procrastinator, I now offer my New Year’s resolutions – a month and 110 years late.
The following resolutions were swiped from the Jan. 1, 1904, issue of The Grand Encampment Herald and courtesy of Grandma’s Cabin of Encampment.
Squibuettes – New Year’s Resolutions
Turn over a new leaf and keep it turned over.
If you fail in your new resolution, try again.
There’ll come a time when it will be too late to mend.
Join the boosters.
Help pay the preacher; you may need him in your business.
Spring some new jokes; those few you have are getting whiskered.
Keep every appointment or send a note.
Save a little dough to tide you over the possible pinch of winter.
Don’t call a cowboy a liar without previously preparing your will.
Put the community at rest by marrying the girl.
Respect the man who can’t agree with you.
If you die suddenly, please advise your friends in advance.
Gossip all you please. Some people could not live without it.
Don’t become a public censor unless the governor gives you an appointment.
Don’t warble your tongue about things you know nothing about.
Throw away the mail-order catalogues. The home merchant has what you want.
Do it now.
Make it a new and a different year. Variety is the salt and pepper.