A Cowboy’s Guide to Life

After a memorial service for a Wyoming cowboy, his family distributed a paper with the following “guide to life.” It’s an oldie, but goodie. Enjoy.

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

A bronc rider should be light in the head and heavy in the seat.

Broke is what happens when a cowboy lets yearnings get ahead of his earnings.

Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it.

When in doubt, let your horse do the thinking.

When a cowboy’s too old to set a bad example, he hands out good advice.

Worry is like a rockin’ chair. It’s something to do that don’t get you nowhere.

Poor is having to sell the horse to buy the saddle.

The future has been losing the wisdom of the past ever since the freeway by-passed the corral.

Behind every successful rancher is a wife who works in town – Old Western Proverb.

Never kick a fresh cow pile on a hot day.

There’s two theories to aruguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.

Don’t worry about bitin’ off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably bigger’n you think.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

Never ask the size of a man’s spread.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral – when you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging’.

Never smack a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.

It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you’re out of good whiskey.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

A smart aleck just don’t fit in a saddle.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

The author here is unknown, but we can credit it to all those old cowboys who lived and enjoyed our great western way of life.