Lessons of the Cowdog

By Lee Pitts

I’ve been interested in cowdogs ever since we imported our kelpie from Australia nearly 50 years ago. I was privileged to be the announcer for the big Red Bluff cowdog sale for 20 years and during this time, I discovered people can learn a lot about life from cowdogs. 

For example, there’s no better feeling in the world than cruising down the road in a pickup with the wind in your hair headed off to a new adventure. 

If you’re truly in love, go for it, or you’ll always wonder, “What if?”

If you’re always ready to go, you never have to worry about being late.

Offspring learn more by making their own mistakes than if they’re always tethered to their parents.

Sometimes you have to take matters into your own paws because the boss is not gonna be around to tell you every move to make.

Study your prey and develop a bold plan of attack. And always have a “Plan B.”

You’ll never get all the credit or all the blame you deserve.

Always be faithful and loyal to whoever brought you to the party.

Don’t make a lot of excess noise, it will only attract enemy reinforcements.

When you’re hot and bothered after working all day, there’s no greater feeling than jumping into a cool body of water, even if it’s a water trough. No one likes a hot dog.

Guard your pickup with your life and don’t be shy about letting others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

You’ll get your revenge someday, even if it’s just a hamburger from a cancer-eyed cow.

You’re worthless if all you do is lay around all day waiting to be petted and fawned over.

Eat and sleep when you can because you’ll never know when you can’t.

Playing frisbee or chasing tennis balls is for losers and a complete waste of time, not to mention slobbery.

Carnivores were meant to eat meat. Plant burgers will give you gas.

Chasing after cars is a loser’s game. Not to mention expensive and dangerous.

Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. All the shampoo, clip jobs and foo-foo days at the spa will never hide the fact you’re a fake or a fraud.

You’ll pay for your youthful brashness in old age, if you live that long.

Standing up, sitting down, rolling over, shaking hands and performing other stupid tricks for a worthless boss is for failures and underachievers.

Don’t be a scaredy-cat. They’re worthless. When was the last time you saw one perform a heroic act?

Sheep aren’t that stupid and cows aren’t that smart.

Sometimes you’re going to need a little help, and remember you can always get more done with a well-coordinated and motivated team who doesn’t care who gets the credit.

Take criticism without resentment.

Love what you do for a living and you’ll never have to go to “work.”

A fulfilling life can be lived without the aid of drugs, liquor, tobacco, Bitcoin, caffeine, stock certificates or money.

Sometimes you have to be bold and take the initiative or you’ll never get what you want.

Brains beat brawn every time. Ever see a 35 pound dog stare down a charging cow?

Humans can be such idiots.