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It’s the Pitts: Booby-Trapped

by Wyoming Livestock Roundup

The feds came out with a list of rules to protect wolves, but they make living in the West like walking through a minefield. The feds have now placed booby-traps everywhere in the West which are meant to trap people, so I’d watch my step if I were you.

It’s become very dangerous to tread anywhere on the 46 percent of the 11 Western-most contiguous states that is public lands owned by the U.S. government. 

For example, a person may not kill a wolf in the act of killing livestock on public land. If they do, they face serious prison time and legal bills up the wazoo. If they are one of those people who believe in the three S’s – as in shoot, shovel and shut up – be sure to bury the carcass on the neighbor’s property so he or she will be the one being someone’s girlfriend in prison.

These new rules make it harder for urban dwellers too – not just ranchers. 

Suppose a person lives in a big city and they take Fifi their poodle for its daily walk in a park, which, unbeknownst to them, is public property. 

And, suppose a wolf jumps out of the weeds and starts killing and eating this beloved poodle. Suppose the person picks up a branch and starts trying to beat said wolf so it would stop munching on Fifi. 

Well, that person is going to be cellmates with the rancher because they can’t kill or injure a wolf in the act of injuring their pet.

As if to rub it in, a person cannot go home and get their gun, then go back to shoot the wolf now feeding on Fifi’s carcass. 

I’d think twice if I were them because it’s now illegal to kill a wolf on public property feeding on the dead carcass of an animal it murdered. We are just supposed to stand there and watch the wolf tear and rip the meat from a dog we loved dearly.

It is now illegal “to enter official enclosures or rendezvous sites where there is denning behavior.”

Pardon me, but I think one would need a master’s degree in wildlife biology to be able to recognize “wolf rendezvous sites.” 

Are these rendezvous like the ones mountain men and trappers traveled to 150 years ago or are they more like the rendezvous when a businessman cheats on his wife by meeting his secretary at some discreet hotel room? 

I think the feds should have given us some guidance here as to how to identify a wolf rendezvous site.

Those who are public lands ranchers may not kill a wolf or harass a wolf just because it is hanging around their property. I think we should test this rule out by taking a few trapped wolves to Washington, D.C. where they could hang out around the offices of Congresspeople. 

Just how long do you think it would be before they’d call out the combined might of all four major branches of the U.S. military to deal with said wolves. I bet we’d have F-18 Hornets in the air, M1 Abram tanks on the ground and U.S. Navy Seals trying to kill those wolves.

Here’s a government booby trap which could catch a lot of people – a person cannot shoot a wolf just because they thought it was a coyote or something else. I bet I could select three photos – one each of a large dog, a coyote and a wolf – and the experts at the game and fish departments in Western states couldn’t tell them apart.  

I’d advise readers to find out if the bus stop where the bus picks up little Billy and Vanessa is on public land. If it is, DO NOT shoot the wolf deciding who to eat first – your son or your daughter. 

Remember, to be safe DO NOT KILL OR INJURE A WOLF. PERIOD!

Don’t forget, the only time a person can legally kill a wolf for killing livestock is if it’s on Tribal or private property. But I wonder what happens if a person only wounded the wolf on private property who then goes on public land to die? 

These new rules are loaded with such booby traps. Make sure not to get caught in one or you’ll be on  the evening news doing the perp walk, dreading your first blind date in prison.

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