You Are Not Alone

By Ashley Beying

Sometimes, life is heavy. 

Several months ago, I was in the throes of motherhood, having a newborn baby as well as three other little ones. Trying to balance my career, household duties, being a mother and a wife and helping on the farm after my maternity leave quickly became overwhelming. To put it lightly, I was exhausted.

There were days where it felt easier to just stay in bed and not succumb to the pressures of the outside world. 

I am fortunate in that when the stress and all of the demands of the world seemed too heavy for me to carry, I had a team of family and friends to pick me up and serve as my anchor. 

I knew I had to lighten the load of responsibilities I was accountable for and focus on the things that matter most to me.

Working full time during the day and coming home to work full time on the farm in the evening can be all-encompassing, and sometimes self care can put one’s emotional and mental health in a better place. 

For me, this is making sure I get up and exercise and staying connected with my loved ones. For others, it may be seeing their therapist, eating healthy or practicing yoga.

Living and working in a rural area can be so enriching, but at times it may feel isolating.

My husband and I made the conscious choice to live in a rural area, and I honestly cannot think of a better place to raise my children with the supportive community behind us. 

Rural life can be full of double rainbows and magical sunsets, but also moments where you feel like you are flying through endless clouds of turbulence, going up and down, questioning if it will ever stop.

Between fluctuating market prices, weather conditions, fatigue and the workload farmers and ranchers face, the stress can be daunting and at times may feel unconquerable. I know this narrative is not uncommon, as more people than we truly know struggle – although at times one can feel entirely and completely alone. 

The most poignant epiphany is knowing just this – we are not alone.

The American Farm Bureau Federation (AFBF) has recently partnered with the Farm Family Wellness Alliance to offer a service called Togetherall to farm and ranch family members who are age 16 or older. 

Togetherall is an anonymous online support community for those engaged in agriculture. It provides peer support to those who need others to bring them strength when times get challenging. 

Because it is anonymous, one may interact with others in the agricultural community who are halfway across the country but are there to provide encouragement and advice. 

Whether it is working through a farm transition, dealing with a loss or just feeling overwhelmed and overworked, this medium of support can let individuals know they are not alone.

Rural life can be difficult, but I know all too well tough times make stronger individuals. Sometimes all we have to do is learn to see the rainbow after the storm.

Ashley Beying is an AFBF member, farmer and rancher in Kansas. This column was adapted from an “Insightˮ column published by the Kansas Farm Bureau on Sept. 5.